Gratitude Month and Thanksgiving

It’s “Gratitude Month” in the recovery rooms of one of the Twelve Step Programs. Nice correlation to Thanksgiving. I like it because it’s the same month as my sobriety anniversary (see Nov 16, 2007 post).

When I first got to recovery, one of my first sponsors instructed me to introduce myself as a “grateful recovering alcoholic.” That sort of pissed me off. I wasn’t grateful to be an alcoholic. I wasn’t grateful about much of anything in the beginning. I had lost my best friend (alcohol). Maybe I was going to live – but I didn’t see how I was ever going to enjoy it!

Today, I have experienced the joys of sobriety and the bountiful gifts that have come to me not only from not drinking, but as the result of working on my spiritual growth to free myself of the bonds of addictive behaviors and patterns.

Yes, today I can honestly say I am grateful to be a recovered alcoholic, because without having gone through addiction, I would not have come to a program of recovery. First of all, I would have been dead a long time ago. Today I am alive and enjoying life – not because I’m living on some sort of pink cloud, but because I have tools for coping with life as it comes. And let’s face it, life comes in many different forms. Some days it's pretty and some days it's ugly. Some days it makes sense and some days it defies reason or logic. But no matter what “face” life wears today I don’t have to anesthetize myself to get through it. I don’t have to run today because I don’t want to feel, or because I’m afraid, or angry, or just don’t care. Today I can take what comes and deal with it head on. That’s freedom!

See, serenity isn’t about being “zoned out” on some chant or mantra or Pollyanna view of things that ignores what’s going on all around you. Serenity is about being the eye of the hurricane. It’s about maintaining one’s balance and being in harmony with the grander scheme of things, while all around you on the local scene chaos reigns.

“Grounded.” “Centered.” Those are good descriptors.

The key is “Tuned In” to a Truth that moves, breathes, lives and has its Being in and through us. It’s knowing that we do not live apart from the All That Is, but as a part of it. It’s knowing that we are not separate from anything nor anyone around us. They are reflections to us, of us, through which we can measure our growth and our relationship with our Self.

Yes, today I’m grateful to be a recovered alcoholic, because I could not have written that last passage without having made the passage from killing myself to “living myself.”

I am who I am because of what I have come through. All of it. There is no part of what I have experienced in my journey towards today that if one minute piece of it were left out or altered, I would be the same person I am.

Today, who I am still needs polishing – but damn I’ve cleaned up nice! I’ve come a long way. It’s absolutely essential that we credit ourselves with our progress. Alcoholic or not.

So in this “season” of Thanksgiving, yes I have much to be grateful for. So much that I hope that I practice gratitude every day of the year, not just on “holidays” or “special months.”

©2008 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved.

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One Blog or Four Blogs? That is the Question!

Writing a personal blog can be a challenge, particularly if you have a wide variety of interests. When I first began writing this Blog, I was sort of “free-falling” in terms of what I wrote about. Each entry depended on what I was thinking, something I might have observed, or whatever.

I’ve come to realize through this process that I actually have 4 major areas of interest to write about:
Quantum Nutwati
Living addictions free
Glbt issues
Personal diary

So I began to wonder whether or not I should actually set up 4 different Blogs, in order to best promote them on the internet as make them most palatable for people looking for special interests and not an eclectic approach.

I’m not sure I’ve figured out the definitive answer, but I’m going to utilize the titles feature in order help direct reader’s interest to find those stories they’re interested in and avoid those they are not.

Stay tuned.
Deb

©2008 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved.

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Celebrating a Sobriety Anniversary

I say this not to brag or set myself up on a pedestal, nor for any other reason but to absolutely glorify the gift and in appreciation that today I celebrate 28 years of continuous sobriety from alcohol.

“How did you do that?” some recovery friends will ask me later. “One day at a time,” is the standard reply.

Actually, in the beginning it was more like “one moment at a time.” In my recently published book, No Change, No Gain – It’s All About Choices (which is a take-off on the saying “no pain no gain”) I go into some detail about what it took in those early days, weeks, months and years to get and stay sober.

(see http://silverstreammusic.tripod.com/id38.html To Order My Book, OR go to
http://www.debadler.com/ and click on "Order Deb's New Book" from main menu.)

The bottom line is, it was no picnic. In the beginning I wanted to crawl out of my skin. But I wanted sobriety more than I wanted death, and I had a wonderful network of supportive women, and men, who had walked the road before me, put out their hands and said, “Walk these steps with me. I made it. You can.”

I balked at first, but once I determined that I was “sick and tired of being sick and tired,” that I was exhausted from bumping into myself, no matter how much I tried to place the problems I was experiencing everywhere but me; once I realized that every time I went up against alcohol it won, I was ready to accept a new way of life.

Not that I stepped into recovery to “transform myself.” I just wanted to stop drinking. Well, I didn’t really want to stop drinking, but clearly the “drink ‘til you can’t feel” modus operandi of coping with life on life’s terms wasn’t working.

There are no words to describe what I’ve gotten down through the years of following a very simple path, cultivated by those who have gone before me. The rewards of sobriety are endless.

They don’t come without a little homework. Spiritual Homework. Because to kick addictions, one has to recognize patterns that set up certain bio-chemical sequences in our brain cells, and learn to alter those sequences through altering our behaviors.

In the beginning, it was a matter of trusting that someone else might have more experience that I have, and being willing to accept that on faith – to follow someone besides myself. Today, 28 years later, as a student of quantum physics and Nuwati healing, I have a much greater understanding of the true nature of the addictive process. Back then, I was too much a player in the drama to be able to see anything other than my own limited experience.

On my first anniversary, sober friends threw me a party. We had food, a cake, music, dancing, great fellowship – all without alcohol. It was great! We made a point, that circle of friends I had grown to love, of celebrating people’s anniversaries. That circle of friends cut across age, race, sex and sexual orientation, professionals, blue collar, trades people, householders - every socio-economic-cultural group was represented. I learned how to celebrate life with the help of these people. Because our lives depended on it.

My life has been rich, full and blessed. It’s had its challenges. Life is life - an adventure or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I’ve gained tools for coping and friends who help me to remember to “pick up those tools” when life’s challenges hit.

I spend time around each anniversary calling some of that original circle, or emailing them, just to express my appreciation for what the have come to mean in my life today. And I’ll go to a gathering of recovering friends today, announce my anniversary, and we’ll all applaud. It’s not so much for the recognition, as to let the new person know that that seemingly long road to recovery is possible. Another way to show “celebration.”

Most importantly, today I’m not a slave to a substance and I don’t have to be a slave to habitual behaviors either. It’s All About Choices. Today I celebrate my choices. That's Freedom!

Deb

©2008 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved.

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